literature

Again I Fall

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Asche-Creedance's avatar
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Literature Text

I'm falling down
Into my own shadow
Swallowed whole yet again
I am the architect of my own undoing
Giving into my own weakness
Becoming a sneak thief
In order to be blessedly numb
My betrayal of my own blood is the badge of deceit
I shall wear over my faltering heart forever more
My body rebels against my cessation of ingesting my own personal poison
Every muscle screams refusing to work as it should
The darkness gnaws in my gut
Threatening to tear me apart from the inside
I am utterly terrified of this familiar Hell
I can make it through yet again
This too shall pass
But the question is what happens when it does?
I don't know who I am without the pills
I have forgotten
I know she was a scared girl
So fragile and veiled in panicked misery
Will my prayers make it through?
And if answered what then?
Will there be a hand reaching down to pull me up to some semblance of sanity?
Or will I be left in this purgatory all alone?    
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