IF ONLY, IF ONLY

I see so much sorrow in your eyes
It's all there written in the hollow stare you use to size me up
I have always thought the greatest gift God gave me
Is my Empathy
Since I was young I was "sensitive" and an "emotional" child
Puberty was Hell
All those homrmones wreaking havoc on all those around me
Intensifying the affects of my overly active awareness of them
The ones who confided in me
Walking me through step by step the worst horrors of their lives
I could feel it in the wavering of her voice
Our bodies became tense
With ridged arms I held her
Every emotion she felt rode over and through me
It got to the point that
A boy bumpind into me by accident he turns to mumble an appology
As I look into the eyes hiding in a sea of dissheveled hair
I got a glimpse straight through to a broken soul
What right did I have to come to "know" this vulnerable boy with a passing glance?
And now you stand before me
You "feel" so akin to me
I have the shameful urge to take advantage of you
"If only" I think
I might take you to a world far away
Where the moon always shines it's borrowed light
Through the far reaching branches of a withered tree
The stars are the only witnesses
In this place I could take your pain away
For a brief momment amist our passionate embrace
The pleasure of being reminded fervently reminded
That she IS NOT ALONE
And the simple touch of bare skin and arms that feel like home
For just a second I might make her smile
The first Real one in so very long
Not the forced facade of contentment that we both obidiently project
And who knows I may mirror her as I feel enough for the both of us
But I shake the thought from my head with a violent jerk
Because I know once that fantasy is over
I would only be leaving more scars behind
And we both have quite enough
I ressist and take her hand
Leading her away to talk
About the events that left her so shattered
And I will try my best to help pick up the pieces
Brush off their dirt and patch her back together
So that I can lead her off into the arms of another person
And as I feel her elation and joy
I will look at her with flawless lying eyes
And mirror her's with a forced smile
In the end I suppose she will leave behind yet another scar in me
But it is all almost worth it
To go through that bitter sweet parting
And the ability to think of how she will no longer have such a pained gaze
Melancholy is where I live
I can only sigh as I feel world moving around me
Taking in one emotion after the other
Until I can no longer tell which emotions are my own
And I will long for the moonlight dream where you are in my arms