I'm lying numbly in your shadow
Tripping over my feet in a smoke filled room with no air
I catch myself on all your jagged edges before I hit the ground
Always so calm and cold
I see a glimpse of the stranger behind your eyes
Never soft or simple
Loving you is as inevitable as gravity, just as unforgiving
My only hope is that someone will be kind and take pity
When they come across me battered and broken
After the fall
Simply Treading Water by Asche-Creedance, literature
Literature
Simply Treading Water
I've come to the disastrous conclusion that confusion is my default
Serenity can find no purchase in my subconscious
Memories of the previous nights vivid dreams plague my waking hours
Begging to be picked apart and analyzed should my inward gaze linger
My dreamscape has never been a comforting environment
Lately melancholy gives way to horrific clarity
The altered reality so clear the edges stand in sharp relief
I never wanted to be forced to understand
My inner monologue is stuck on repeat
Someone offer a hand to save me from the jumbled cacophony my my self deprecating emotions
I'm starting to drown losing the will to tread water
The melody comes seeping through the cracks in my subconscious
Dreaming against my will again
A simultaneously familiar and altogether alien tune
I can see every note in lucid colors
Striking chords I didn't know existed deep within the darker confines of my mind
Filling me with relief and a calm much preferable to the ever present emotional storm
The sensation of waking grips me with the last refrain
I come to consciousness for once with a smile
Realization comes in shades
Phantoms behind the eyes
Hiding all but the smallest truths
Knowing full well that partial honesty can be entirely a lie
Leave the details in the light
Let me search the whispers left behind
The colors of our lives overtake me once again
On my knees with the weight of my conscience crushing me
Let it steal my air
My breath hitches
I feel the world slide away
Reality is always defined for me in my dreams
I'm held hostage when I'm awake
I would much rather battle the shadows of my own mind
Than go through life truth less and color blind
Prayer from another lost soul by Asche-Creedance, literature
Literature
Prayer from another lost soul
I feel it seeping in
Every vein rejoices embraces that which kills and cures
How many links in this regretable chain have I forged this time
Though I suppose losing count along with losing All is the point
Nothing too hard core
My pathetic way of justifying each trasngression
Clinging to these chains
My only hope is Another
One to find me and recognize who the real me is supposed to be
I was weak before to poison but now I'm decidedly No One
With everything expected of me now
Prayer is my only hope
Come find me I'm never anywhere but here
The moon, my only true friend
It's cold stolen light really does play best
Upon the skin of one with fiery self-righteousness inside
The sweat beads upon my brow
As my oh so persistent conscience rears its molten head
The blood begins to boil in my veins
My own self deprecation forms chains
Let them bind me forever in this place
Just don't take the sight of the stars from me
I will submit as the heated waves rising from the concrete
Chokes me and steals my very air to scream
I have given myself over to the torment of my own design
But I will never let go of My night sky
The Lies of My Life by Asche-Creedance, literature
Literature
The Lies of My Life
The smoke fills my lungs
My ears are thundering with profound lyrics
All telling me to "be true to myself"
But who is that?
My skin is painted with lies
Invisible scars
I see the effects in the mirror
The darkening of my eyes
The lines near my lips from all the forced smiles
Little untruths here and there
Wrapped in just a bit of what's real to keep it straight in my head
At what point did little white lies become my life?
What should I strive for?
Ambition is non-existent
My cigarette burns its last embers
As I remove my headphones I whisper to the night
"Just who am I supposed to be?"
When no answer comes from the darkness without
I cling t
I'm falling down
Into my own shadow
Swallowed whole yet again
I am the architect of my own undoing
Giving into my own weakness
Becoming a sneak thief
In order to be blessedly numb
My betrayal of my own blood is the badge of deceit
I shall wear over my faltering heart forever more
My body rebels against my cessation of ingesting my own personal poison
Every muscle screams refusing to work as it should
The darkness gnaws in my gut
Threatening to tear me apart from the inside
I am utterly terrified of this familiar Hell
I can make it through yet again
This too shall pass
But the question is what happens when it does?
I don't know who I am wi
She is more a part of me than any other person
I grew within her
She who gave me life
The disease ravages her brain
Taking from her everything
Including her Art
That she traveled half a world away to master
It pains me to no end
Knowing that the stories I grew up hearing
About those hot summer nights listening to the cicadas
In the land of the sun
Those memories like her dexterity are stolen from her now
My worst Fear is the day my Mother looks me in the eyes and doesn't know who I am
Too Broken for Reality by Asche-Creedance, literature
Literature
Too Broken for Reality
I'll disappear for a while at least
All my lies, deceit, stealing, and cheating
It will no longer exist
I will go away from the horrible person I have become
I'm a character on a screen
In a realm walking alone and unseen
I live through the artful characters
As I read their heroic words in subtitles
The virtual world is where I belong
Not the so called Real one
Staring at my feet
Unable to meet anyone's eyes
I don't want to come back to reality
I can't deal with it
I wasn't meant for it
Too weak
Too corruptible
I have always been so deeply, mournfully, sad
I AM BROKEN